Top 10 Reasons Why The IDF is Like Harry Potter

Ever since I drafted on Monday, I've been thinking that there was something strange about this whole thing that I couldn't exactly place. Something about the scenery maybe, or perhaps the food, or maybe even the people felt oddly familiar. I thought about it during meals and classes and ח formations, but I just couldn't remember when I had been here before. In the end, it came to me in a dream. Last night, in the very middle of the night, I woke with a start and realized that my world right now is undeniably similar to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. So here are the top 10 reasons why I may as well be at Hogwarts.

1. I'm living in a place that very much exists, but must remain a mystery to even those who live next door, simply because they are not one of us.

2. Our uniforms are preppy-chic, and though we don't wear a tie, we do have stylish sweaters that we wear casually over button down shirts.

3. When it rains, my base looks like Hogsmead once Voldemort returns. The roads are empty, the windows boarded up, and people in dark clothing huddle together for protection.

4. We are divided into house-like pluga'ot, each one proudly symbolized by an animal and two colors. Personally, my plugah has a regal-looking Falcon as our mascot, and our colors are those of Hufflepuff.

5. Our division into these sections seems completely arbitrary, but it quickly become clear that we belong where we are, and we were put here for a reason.

6. Those who don't get in trouble are seen as "brown-nosers" and are looked down upon. Hermione obviously would've been mocked by these feisty Israeli girls.

7. When people speak too quickly to me, they may as well be speaking Latin for all I understand. And in response, I fall into this trance that, when they realize I don't understand, makes people magically stop yelling at me.

8. Put them in a uniform, and everyone here instantly becomes A-list movie star level attractive. No matter how statistically impossible it may be, literally everyone here could be an actor/actress.

9. The food here tastes like the weird flavors of Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I distinctly remember one of my meals tasting like grass, and another like, alas, earwax.

10. We are given an extremely powerful tool with close to no lessons on how to use it and without any proof that we are fit to carry such a weapon. People just seem to give us the benefit of the doubt that we can be equipped with a wand and/or a gun and everything will be OK.

Of course, there is a lot more to share about my first week in the army, but between lessons on how to combat chemical warfare and being yelled at incessantly, I hardly have the time to write a full-blown blog entry. Luckily, my first Shabbat is an open one, so I'll be home on kibbutz and hopefully have the time to properly explain what's been happening this week and maybe include pictures. Until then, you have my full permission to tell everyone you know that your friend/daughter/sister/colleague's daughter is attending Hogwarts.